This feeling of fustration always has been in myself.. its almost like a disease waiting to happened again but of course every sickness has its cure that still needs to be discovered. No one like getting sick, the same for me.. I hate this feelings. Love,happy,jealousy,terrified,cold and such.. The thought of letting myself have this feeling is wonderful sometimes, but why should I be happy or sad, love or hate?
I really like poker face though,maybe bacause I don't want others to find out what I'm feeling.. I knowI'm a cry baby that wimps on about how pathetic my life can be. Trying to be optimisstic but its making me crazier.. Maybe I'm seeking attention from someone,and I actually know who it is.. Love is stupid but I still watch romances drama and movies.. It like I'm addicted to it.. Guss I am trying to find someone that cares for me but I'm not even trying its like Im going with the flow of life.. Feeling depressed and hating.. Yet I have friends but are they friends? Is she my friends?
Family that I should be thankful for having.. without them I probably laying dead some where.. Still, we fought and hate each other.. Even for a small thing such as candy or the remote controllers. Parents that act like strangers or is it me because I'm in my puberty? Teenagers that rebels against parents without even knowing the reason? Shitty..
I need something.. a missing piece of a puzzle in myself.. my heart.
Love, Anis Sakinah
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